I am just coming down from the weekend that I have been anticipating since September. And, to be honest, I am a little hollow and broken.

I never thought that I would be an on-line dater, but low and behold I became one after an unacceptable time as a single in the big city --- where I was no longer a 22 year cutie and far too grounded to play into the role that my age might suggest I might want to play. So I was matched with this guy in May. We causally emailed for a couple of months. Just before my most recent contract started we started emailing regularily and with intention. We then jumped on the online chat bandwagon until we adopted Tuesday nights to be ours. We took turns phoning each other and staying up as late as our phone cards would hold out. There was no denying that we weren't in each other's backyards or even a stone throw away. Then a month into our psuedo-dating he told me he was coming to my area and wanted to spend a weekend together.

It sounded toooooo good to be true and then it wasn't, then it was again. I guess that's what sometimes happens when you have nothing to rely on by a voice and a hypothetical layer of trust - who knows if it would work out. He planned to come up early in the afternoon so we could make the most of the weekend... well traffic happened. Rain happened. Ticketmaster crashed. I committed at least one serious traffic offence carting us one from one side of the world to another. The parking meter ate the money. The resturant turned off its lights as we reached for the handle. Everything that may not have gone according to plan, didn't. To boot, the chat wasn't as consistent. We were different levels of nervous. But there was still something there. Or at least I thought there was.

We spent the nights laying beside each other. The first tossing and turning trying to establish boundaries the second he was in a beer dream and I was high on cold medication. Our days were loosely planned and the timing was great. He met those closest to me and I dragged him by the arm to my most cherished places. We didn't tick off everything but what we did do was memoriable -- especially those events that we dragged ourselves to the front of the line to witness first hand.

From that prospective it went as well as it could have; however, something that was on my mind was the chemistry aspect. I needed to know if there could be sparks waiting for me. Apparently this vision was one sided. I tried to work my magic and I didn't even fall into one kiss. Brutal.

So at the end of this remarkable weekend as I get prepared for the next phase, likely to be affectionally known as AOLD (after online dating), I can at least feel settled that I gave it a go and I can sleep better knowing that he does exist and is true to his word that he doesn't want to be involved with anyone this far away.